Thursday, June 26, 2008

The process of Catharsis...

My wife and I recently lost our first was 12-13 weeks old, and she had a miscarriage. The first part of it was really difficult. To have no warning signs and wake up at 2:30 in the morning facing a labor-like situation...without the hospital. No support to speak of, just pain and raw emotion for 4 hours. All of the thoughts swirling in your mind. How are we going to tell our family? They have been waiting for this moment almost as wantingly as we have. What about our friends? What would this child have looked like? We were going to be the first great-grandchild in the family! It's virtually impossible to confront all of these thoughts at once...yet they seem to come all at once. I broke down once or twice...not in front of her...of course. These are just the crappy things that come along in this life, but I'm not convinced that they need to be explained. Somehow I know that my response to this is what matters. Will I lose my inhibitions? Will I ask all of the typical why and how questions? I don't think so. I will simply take to heart the verses of 1 Peter 1:6-7:

"6 So be truly glad.[a] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

Thank you God! I know that you are always present in my hardship. Your promises are true now and forever. I will never play the blame game with you because I know that I will constantly face trials in this life that are a natural result of this fallen world. You ask me for my heart in obedience thru it all...and in that you use these things for your glory, and that is my reward! Your provision is great, your mercy is great, you are just, you are loving. I take refuge in the knowledge that you can see my unborn child. You know their know what they look know what they will become, and the choices that they will make. I pray for them now. I ask for your blessing on their lives. Lovingly direct and guide them by your Spirit. Father heal our hearts. Surround us with your loving peace. Thank you...thank you.

If you are going thru some trials, read this is right on:

Monday, June 2, 2008

An old blog that I found...

Check this out...I wrote this a long time ago on my myspace page, and it spoke to me today. God is good:

From the words of one of my favorite songs:

"The more I seek you, the more I find you"

"The more I find you, the more I love you"

I find it interesting that this is truly the process I go thru in my pursuit of God. When I truly seek Him, I find Him...when I find Him, I can't help but fall in love with Him. That love places the desire in my heart to follow His words, and following His words create love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, and they give me hope (Gal. 5:22). That process forces me to check myself every day. I can no longer be complacent in every day life because if I am truly a "Christ-follower" the Spirit will always keep me accountable for my actions and/or non-actions. If I ever lose that desire...I fear that I was never saved at all, but I rest in His promise that He will never leave or forsake me (Heb. the whole chapter).

I guess my point is that I truly believe that those of us who don't "currently" have a desire for God need to question whether or not salvation is with us. How can one say that they are a "Christian" and not desire to seek Him and to make Him known to others. How can a "Christian" live in sin doing what they know is not right, and trying to make justification for it. The answer is that you can't. Of course we will fail sometimes, but the key is that we do not want to fall short of righteousness. We will not justify our sinful actions...we will repent and correct them. Our desire for God will overcome our sinful nature, and we can successfully live in God's will.

Maybe this is just a thought for those who don't feel like God matters "right now".